Moo

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Lesson learned: don’t do nekkid pushups.

Okay, okay, okay, so whywould anyone do them in the first place? 

Well, if you happen to be just about to take a shower, and you happen to have removed all of your clothes in preparation for said shower, and your daughter happens to be showing you her pushups in the bathroom, and you happen to realize that your daughter has no idea that the body is supposed to be in a plank position for the duration of the pushup, and you happen to decide that you might as well demonstrate the proper form of a pushup at that time, then you might find yourself in the position where it is completely reasonableto do a nekkid pushup.

Just don’t do it.

Because, if you happen to have recently lost any amount of weight and you happen to look down your front, you will see something God did not intend for you to see: extra skin. 

Extra skin is not my friend.

Extra skin hangs in a really funky way.  Really funky.  Like cow udders funky. 

Yup.  I looked down and realized I have progressed to cow udder status.

And you have never seen me get out of a pushup faster in my life.

So then, preoccupied as I am with the horrible concept of ever seeing myself in a nekkid pushup again, I decided to check today on the ramifications of extra skin.  It appears that lots of people have discovered this teensy problem and have suggested that people lose weight s-l-o-w-l-y so that the extra skin – I don’t know – dissolves? fades away? is eaten by alien flesh-eating bacteria?  Anyhow, they say, “Lose 1-2 pounds a week.”  Well, yeah, that’s my first problem.  If it was that slow, I just wouldn’t do it.  I’d get too discouraged.  Besides, it’s now mostly academic – and mostly in the past. 

So, what to do?

Well, it appears that drinking a lot of water will help the skin remain elastic and that’s good.  Also, eating fruits and vegetables (again with the lots of water thing) is good.  The funny part is that just working out doesn’t do it.  You have to have a combined approach with resistance training and cardio.  And still the extra skin may just… hang… around.  Yay. 

On the other hand, it’s better than having size 18’s be tight on me.  It’s better than pushing 200 pounds.  It’s just… cow udders?  Really?

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