Run! Run! Run!

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Okay, I am having a hard time with this one.

My boyfriend asked me to marry him.  He had this whole idea of a wedding in his head.  He even knew what he wanted the overall idea to be.  He wanted a shipboard wedding.  He wanted to be able to dock near a waterfront restaurant and join a party and then leave from there for his honeymoon.  I thought that sounded IDEAL.

So I figure, Hey, I’ll just do a little footwork research today and see what all it would take to make his vision a reality. 

I spend some time on Pinterest, I dig a little into the restaurants and such that are available for docking and dining.

I find a dress and bridesmaid dresses for my daughters on severe clearance and order them online.

And then I ask him for more specifics.  Well, he knows he wants the wedding on the ship, with a maximum of 12 guests in the wedding party.  He knows he wants it to be in warmer weather and for us to have a week together being pampered afterward.

O-kay.

But what about the reception?  He had mentioned the reception at one point.  He had mentioned wanting to have a catered or restaurant reception.  He had mentioned having one of the biggest costs as being the alcohol.  And then today he says, “I don’t give a $*!% about the reception.”  Seriously?  I am the one who could care less about the whole wedding thing.  I already had one, thank you very much.  I can do without any amount of wedding stuff.  So is that statement because he’s frustrated that he didn’t really think about it – is it because he really doesn’t want to do it?  WTF?  Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?  Wednesday!  

So I asked him, and he does want it, but he just isn’t ready for it to be quite real yet.  He isn’t ready to plan for that.  And I’m so confused.  I am not pushing for this wedding.  I am not even pushing to get married again.  I will marry him.  I can see spending the rest of my life with him.  

I do not want an event, a party that he wanted to get him so upset when I ask him what he’d like.  What was it that got such a visceral reaction from him?  What made it so bad when he had already basically spelled it out once before? 

You know, I was just playing around with ideas.  I was just initiating the planning process because it’s what I do.  I like to try to plan things out a little to get a better deal, to be more economical, to trim out the unnecessary fluff and focus in on the important things.

To me, this is what is important:

  • Marriage to the man I love
  • Less stress
  • Including my children in our new family
  • A wedding reception to celebrate with good friends
  • Time with my new husband

I just got spooked when he said that asking questions about details was enough to make him want to run.  “I’ve already run once before.”

Now that’s assuring.  Thanks.

 

 

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