Okay, I am having a hard time with this one.
My boyfriend asked me to marry him. He had this whole idea of a wedding in his head. He even knew what he wanted the overall idea to be. He wanted a shipboard wedding. He wanted to be able to dock near a waterfront restaurant and join a party and then leave from there for his honeymoon. I thought that sounded IDEAL.
So I figure, Hey, I’ll just do a little footwork research today and see what all it would take to make his vision a reality.
I spend some time on Pinterest, I dig a little into the restaurants and such that are available for docking and dining.
I find a dress and bridesmaid dresses for my daughters on severe clearance and order them online.
And then I ask him for more specifics. Well, he knows he wants the wedding on the ship, with a maximum of 12 guests in the wedding party. He knows he wants it to be in warmer weather and for us to have a week together being pampered afterward.
But what about the reception? He had mentioned the reception at one point. He had mentioned wanting to have a catered or restaurant reception. He had mentioned having one of the biggest costs as being the alcohol. And then today he says, “I don’t give a $*!% about the reception.” Seriously? I am the one who could care less about the whole wedding thing. I already had one, thank you very much. I can do without any amount of wedding stuff. So is that statement because he’s frustrated that he didn’t really think about it – is it because he really doesn’t want to do it? WTF? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? Wednesday!
So I asked him, and he does want it, but he just isn’t ready for it to be quite real yet. He isn’t ready to plan for that. And I’m so confused. I am not pushing for this wedding. I am not even pushing to get married again. I will marry him. I can see spending the rest of my life with him.
I do not want an event, a party that he wanted to get him so upset when I ask him what he’d like. What was it that got such a visceral reaction from him? What made it so bad when he had already basically spelled it out once before?
You know, I was just playing around with ideas. I was just initiating the planning process because it’s what I do. I like to try to plan things out a little to get a better deal, to be more economical, to trim out the unnecessary fluff and focus in on the important things.
To me, this is what is important:
- Marriage to the man I love
- Less stress
- Including my children in our new family
- A wedding reception to celebrate with good friends
- Time with my new husband
I just got spooked when he said that asking questions about details was enough to make him want to run. “I’ve already run once before.”
Now that’s assuring. Thanks.