Pulling Through


This morning was one of those days when I had to pull myself through.

My first alarm went off, and I figured out not only how to shut it off, but how to completely disable it without waking up. I spent the next half of an hour in a grumpy slumber, trying to convince myself that I really wanted to follow through with my promise to myself to cycle on Wednesday mornings. And then my second alarm went off. And I snoozed it.

Eventually, I dragged my carcass out of bed and to the gym, running a few minutes late, but still hitting the warm-up phase of the class. I had a piss-poor attitude about the cold, about the idea of sweating, and about cycling.

Then about 20 minutes in, I actually started to enjoy myself. And a few seconds later, I started counting down the time until I could reasonably leave. I had promised myself 30 minutes. I got 35. On my way out, I did a weight check, and I was continuing my downward trend, so that was smile-worthy.

When I got home, it was as though I was struggling through molasses to get myself put together for the day. I was sweaty, I needed coffee and breakfast, and I was trying to help my fourth grader finish the rest of her math homework – without having her cry.

I was only five minutes late to work – or so. No one was beating down the door to get to me, so I counted it as a win.

Probably the best thing that happened all morning was a great conversation with my bestie while I was insanely productive at work.

I stole a couple of minutes to type up my monthly menu – my attempt to get on top of grocery spending, ensure reduced food spoilage, intelligently use resources, and plan healthy meals for my entire family that DO NOT require me cooking a separate meal for me and for them. We are on day 3 of the menu, and the first two nights went better than expected. Of course my kids knew I was systematically trying to poison them, but they gave in and ate… reluctantly.

Monday was pork tenderloin, butternut squash, and broccoli. Fortunately, it made enough that I have lunches for me covered for the week. Last night was turkey “steak,” Asian-inspired cabbage slaw, shredded carrots, and cucumber slices. Tonight should be oven-baked chicken with bacon-wrapped asparagus bundles. Thursday nights are my nights to rebel against cooking, so I put “Breakfast for Dinner” on the menu, hoping someone will step up and do the honors. Or the horrors.

The really good part about today was how my body felt. I felt energetic, and my stomach wasn’t bloated or rumbly. Last night I caved and made these “no added sugar” cookies. It was almost cheating because they contained bananas, applesauce, cranberries, and chocolate chips. You want to talk sugar? But at least it didn’t call for a cup of sugar or honey or any other added sweetener. Anyhow, I kind of went crazy eating these wonderful warm gooey bits of heaven, and I probably need to (a) not make them again unless I have people with whom to share them (b) reduce the recipe to have fewer cookies. But, oh, they were good, and my body didn’t rebel against them. In fact, it was quiet and calm and allowed a friendly weigh-in this morning.

The weather has changed. It went from warm and sunny to gray and ominous. The weather wasn’t supposed to deteriorate until tomorrow, but it’s here. Just in time for a work meeting that everyone knows will have BAD NEWS. We just don’t know how bad… yet.  And that’s killing my tenuous resolve to go to the gym tonight.

Hopefully I can pull through and make it to yoga. I need it after the workout I’ve given my knee today.


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