I weighed in this week, and I am disappointed with myself and discouraged. I was up a pound. I know in the grand scheme of things that a pound isn’t the end of the world, but I just am angry with myself that I didn’t do better. I just didn’t keep up with what I knew I should be doing. Now I can tell myself little white lies to protect my ego, but the reality is that I just didn’t adhere to a plan strictly enough to see any positive progress. I can tell myself that it’s stress or something, but the truth is still there: I didn’t keep myself from snacking at night, and I sure as hell went on a binge after the funeral.
But it just depresses me to think that I have so little will power on a lasting basis that I can make the significant changes I want in my life.
So what will do it? What will galvanize me into making the changes I want to see?
I just don’t know.
Perhaps this week’s disappointment will do it. Maybe the fact that I backslid will convince me to be more diligent.
The problem is that, for me, it’s an every single day commitment. If I do go off track, it takes me so long to get back on target.
And I keep second-guessing myself: What if I went to the gym more? What if I didn’t eat that extra protein bar? What if I did different exercises? What if I had eaten something different for lunch? Drunk more water? Drunk less coffee? Not used butter? Not eaten onions? Gotten more sleep? Gotten less sleep but been more physically active? Stressed less?
Well, back to square one.
Get on track with the Slim4Ever plan. Drink more water. Do something every morning and evening. Do a little work out throughout the day.
I’ll keep you posted as to how that works and how much will power I have.
Wow! That was fast! Only yesterday I went to have my blood drawn for allergy tests. Today I get the call that they came back NEGATIVE. That is reason for rejoicing because I do NOT have food allergies!
On the other hand, what is happening to my body? Why am I experiencing reactions to certain foods?
What is the next step?
The reason I’m asking is that I seriously think some foods are BAD for my body, but I want to be able to prove it scientifically rather than circumstantially.
I want to know I am not just making this up.
However, I can continue to eat clean and take care of my body doing what I know is effective. It just is a letdown that I have no proof to show anyone that certain foods are my nemesis.
On that note, I am down nearly five pounds since the weirdly explosive, pain-filled day. That’s still up from where I was before I indulged in the evil cake of doom, but it’s approaching what I consider my “starting weight.” I hope to get back there this week.
Here’s my current theory about what I should do:
- Reduce sugar consumption – that means reducing fruit intake. And I love me some fruit.
- Increase water intake – and not just coffee *pout* – but actual water.
- Continue to work on lifting/muscle-building exercises – my theory is that building muscle early on might not affect weight now, but should pay dividends later.
- Continue to do targeted cardio – cycling, eliptical, things that work my legs – I really would like to reduce the real estate of my back side.
- Continue to do yoga – the flexibility and mental health benefits of yoga are my payoffs.
- Continue to “eat clean.” – I’m currently not plugged into any particular regimen, but I think I’m going to stick mostly to the Whole30 with some allowances for alcohol, butter, and some chemical-saturated water flavorings (which I’ve been avoiding, but might use to encourage myself to actually drink enough water.)
- Buy some gas-relief medication such as Gas-X or Beano to help manage the symptoms of intestinal distress.
On the realistic side, the part wherein I admit to my human failings, I went to the gym this morning to catch the barbell class, but the regular teacher wasn’t there. I put away all the equipment I’d gotten out and decided to go do my own thing instead. I did the elliptical for a five minute warm-up, did legs, shoulders, chest, back, and arms, and I found a “new” machine that works calves. I really pressed myself to increase weight and do reps until my muscles tired. I only spent 35 minutes working out instead of 45, but I think I covered my bases. I just feel a little guilty about not going to a class where I didn’t know the instructor. At least I didn’t go home!